I’ve been offline, creating my first full-length album, UGLY, of which the anglerfish is the central symbol. But then I heard about the #AIart trend, and it inspired me to draw & share this picture of myself with her.
When I say she’s my spirit animal, I’m not joking.
I first encountered her during a guided meditation designed to facilitate a meeting with one’s spirit animal. I fully expected to meet a wolf or something, but nope. Instead, I had a powerful vision of being dragged deeeep down into the ocean, whereupon a giant anglerfish began to circle me.
That was 8 years ago. I felt her calling all the while, inviting me to get to know her, despite her ugly exterior…. but I avoided her, out of unspeakable fear of her mysterious light and menacing voice.
What an ignorant mistake that was! I’m finding, through the making of this album, that everything I feared about her was actually everything I NEEDED in order to live the life and be the Artist I’ve always deeply, desperately desired.
The voice I feared hearing,
and the light I feared shining,
was always my own.
…Isn’t it WILD how this Shadow Integration thing works? The thing you fear most is your medicine. Good luck! 🙃
Through making Art of the anglerfish (read: myself), I am learning how to be comfortable in the Unknown. How to accept myself, ugly parts and all. And most of all: I am learning how to have faith in God.
Now this brings me back to A.I. “art.”
Sure, A.I. can create stylized composite images of your face.
But does A.I. ever undergo ego death in order to birth Art into this world?
Does it ever get harassed by the Muses at 2am when it’s trying to sleep?
Does it get confronted with its own shadow while perfecting its aesthetic?
Does Art ever drag A.I. so far down into the Unknown that it has no choice left but to fully and completely surrender its naked, vulnerable soul to an even more Unknowable God?
And if we asked it these questions,
would it tell us the Truth